In honor of “Pretty Boy” Floyd Mayweather signing on to appear at Wrestlemania to face The Big Show, we decided to unearth some of the worst celebrity sightings in wrasslin’ history. I presume none of these people got paid $20 million like Pretty Boy, but many of them did risk career ending injuries for moderate publicity. Too bad YouTube or sex tapes weren’t around when most these people lusted for another 15 minutes in the spotlight. On second thought, maybe that’s a good thing.
Pete Rose, Wrestlemania XIV-XVI
Normally something Pete Rose does to garner attention isn’t exactly list-worthy, but his length of involvement made this one special. For 3 consecutive years he appeared at Wrestlemania and developed an ongoing feud with Kane, who Tombstoned him twice and chokeslammed him once. I don’t even think he was invited to the last one, he just kinda showed up. I imagine Vince McMahon saying something like “Who invited him again?” when Pete is out of earshot. The saddest part: he bet on himself to win.
Jay Leno, WCW Road Wild
Why would the host of the Tonight Show be involved in a PPV main event you ask? To be honest I don’t know. But it sure is a testiment to wrestling’s late 90′s surge in mainstream popularity. He also brought Kevin Eubanks with him, honoring the legendary white man strategy of bringing your biggest black friend with you to a potentially violent situation.
Richard Belzer, Wrestlemana I
Belzer didn’t exactly appear at the first Wrestlemania, but he had Hulk Hogan and Mr. T on his show to promote the event. After mocking the authenticity of pro wrestling, Hulk Hogan demonstrated a simple move on him and choked his ass out. The only thing he’s “Munch”-ing is the floor! Boo-yah! Watch the most awkward talk show interaction in history for yourself:
*chews gum* Is this whole flick about burgers?
Burt Reynolds, WM X
I think the reason this cracks me up the most is that I can only picture Norm McDonald doing his impersonation of Burt anymore. Then I just imagine him hanging backstage with “the boys”.
“So, what, you guys just go out there in your tights, and, uh, roll around, uh, with each other? *chews gum* Sounds kinda gay.”
Fight fight fight…
Lawrence Taylor, WM XI
I remember this match very well. LT fought Bam Bam Bigalow, and had a squad of football goons at his side (to counteract Bam Bam’s sneaky goon squad of his own). This match is fondly remembered in the wrestling community as the best match by a non-wrestler. LT took it very seriously, and actually had some moves in his arsenal (highlighted by the shoulder tack off the middle turnbuckle). I just think it’s funny because LT was just coked out enough to think this would regain his fame (and fortune, which I assume was all spent on expensive drugs and cheap women, or cheap drugs and expensive women).
Not pictured: fat daughter
Ozzie Osbourne, WM II
To be fair to Ozzie, WMII was a mess with celebrity appearances. It was also simulcast on closed circuit TV from three different locations. But what makes Ozzie funnier than Joan Rivers, Smokin’ Joe Frazier, and Elvira is that he was there to escort the British Bulldogs. Seriously, he just showed up to walk two dudes down the aisle with the only connection being that they were both from England. That’s way worse that Alice Cooper being in Jake “The Snake”s corner. (Editor’s note: this is back when Ozzie was making hit records, not being a crazy old coot.)
Does this tie make me look gay?
Liberace, WM I
Wow, Vinny Mac really pulled out the big guns on his first big Pay-per-view, didn’t he? Nothing like having a guy who is possibly the most famous gay man ever around a bunch of dudes in tights all hugged up on each other. The only thing worse would be having Little Richard there…
Oooooh! haha, shutup!
Little Richard, WM X
Did you know that Little Richard not only invented Rock and Roll (just ask him), but he also invented the suplex. True story!
Suck it!
Alex Trebek, WM VII
Pat Sajak was their first choice, but couldn’t (read: wouldn’t) make it to the event. So they brought in the then mustached Trebek to be a ring announcer. Unfortunately, this wasn’t the same year as Burt Reynold’s appearance, or an entire SNL sketch could have taken place in my head.
Cock blocker.
Jonathan Taylor Thomas, WM XI
As a youth, I hated JTT. That pretty boy was on the cover every teen heart throb magazine and every girl in my middle school wanted to kiss him, and I was just the weird kid in the computer lab at lunch. But oh how the mighty have fallen! Guest timekeeper. Timekeeper! They don’t even really keep time for the matches, so they didn’t even trust this little asshole to do anything other than walk out and make the rest of us teenagers look disgusting by comparison. He also did a backstage vignette with Bob Backlund that showed the two of them playing chess. No word on whether JTT gave the chess board AIDS.
I think I stopped watching wrestling around the time Mr. Courtney Cox got involved and I believe won a title. PS: Lamp is the greatest writer ever in the history of ever.
Not that it matters, but that Belzer clip was totally fake. There is no way to choke a person out using that “chin grab” Hulk used. To choke a person out, you need to restrict blood flow to the brain by cutting off both carotid arteries… like the actual sleeper hold does (when applied properly, unlike in pro wrestling). Even if he restricted air flow, it would be 2-3 minutes before a man loses consciousness.
Slight problem John… at this time, wrestlers were still told to protect the business, and legitimate holds were still taught for the possibility of a ringer (before the 80s) or to protect the “legitimacy of the business”. Hogan was taught by Hiro Matsuda, and I would not be surprised if he shot a chinlock. Even if he did not go for the carotid, the pressure from Hogan’s bicep and forearm could probably do it if he were strong enough.
By the way, here’s Trevor Berbick vs. Nobuhiko Takada, UWF-I:
http://backstagepowers.com/site/video/nobuhiko-takada-vs.-trevor-berbick-2.html
The Belzer clip looks believable to me. It looks like a variation of the guillotine choke used in MMA. It is possible to choke a person out very quickly.
I really should watch things before i type…
What?
No Mr. T?
Danny my boy, I pity your fool. And by ‘fool’ I mean ‘ass’.
by the way..that clip is real..and so is the chokeout..i saw a documentary that included this clip. the reason hulk applied it in earnest was because during the interview..belzer was being flip with them…and joking how things were not real. they didnt take to kindly to it…and belzer couldnt even complete the show after ..i believe he broke his nose too…..
they actually had to appologize and it almost created a very bad situation before wm1….
What about Juan Pablo Montoya, NASCAR and former F1 racer?
Talk about a complete 180 from the aristocratic scene of Formula 1. From standing with a Prince in Monte Carlo in ’03 to bashing some redneck on the head with a folding chair in ’08. Five years changes a lot, huh?
How can you leave Andy Kaufman off this list? Yeah, I know, his “feud” with Jerry Lawler was within the realm of a Memphis-based regional syndicate, not the WWF, but still…it was big enough to get the attention of David Letterman (anyone remember Lawler slapping Kaufman out of his chair next to Letterman’s desk, then minutes later Kaufman running back on stage screaming “you’re a f**king a**hole!!!” on national TV, then trying to throw coffee on Lawler?)
jkh March 14, 2011 Um, take it from an old lady who lived tghuorh the free-wheeling 60′s and 70′s without catching an STD or being raped. You don’t let a man pick you up at your home, you don’t let him drop you off at your home, and you don’t invite him into your home until you’ve had more than a couple of meetings. Bad pennies do turn up again.