Every Monday, our very own DLamp will be taking a look at what just happened the day before in the NFL, and looking ahead to the Monday night game(s).
Many football fans consider Divisional Weekend to be the best weekend of NFL action all year. And I see where they are coming from; you’ve still got 4 games (unlike this upcoming week) and there are no bad games because the bad teams have been weeded out (in theory). Add in a 50/50 shot at a game being played in snow, which is always a fun watch, and it is a great recipe. To me, however, it was a little disappointing. I got to watch a lot more football than I expected this weekend, and found most of the games to be snoozers. Arizona/Carolina was over by halftime, Philly/NY never had an exciting moment, and SD/Pitt seemed like what it was: a perennial winner playing a team that squeaked into the playoffs via a weak weak division.
How can Peter King actual print this?
“…Whisenhunt did something coaches very rarely do this late in the season — he had his players put on pads and bang each other…” Are you kidding me?! Listen, I know I have a pretty sophomoric sense of humor, but come on. Not a single editor at SI caught this thing. Unbelievable. Well, thanks for the giggles, King! Also, “These Uggs are everywhere” is a quitecential Peter King hilarity. Welcome to 2002, PK.
Does Phillip Rivers have telekenesis?
Yes. How else can you explain his footballs staying up in the air as long as they do? I swear he makes the ball seem like a feather as it hangs up there. The only time it doesn’t defy gravity is when he’s throwing at the feet of his RB because the screen didn’t develop properly.
Now where did I leave my ‘Cardinals/eating crow’ headline?
No one gave the Cards a chance in hell. Not one single person. I think even God bet it all against the red birds, which is surprising since their QB loves him so much. Well, what no one counted on was Jake Delhomme wanting his name to be in the Chicago Bears/Minnesota Vikings/New York Jets/Seattle Seahawks QB talks next year. That’s, right, I said it: Delhomme wants his release. There is no other explanation for the 5 picks and 1 lost fumble on Saturday. Turns out everyone was right, it was a blowout…just not in the direction they all thought.
How bloody is that Steelers/Ravens game going to be this week?
5 bloody. Listen, as long as it has all the hard hits from this weeks Titans/Ravens contest, I’ll be happy. These two teams pride themselves on a smashmouth style of football (as opposed to the style of music) and hard hits so hopefully they just try to outdue each other until Ray Lewis breaks down and just starts stabbing people left and right. Hey, a guy can dream, can’t he?
Does the magic of the Philly playoff beards know any bounds?
No. The Magic Philly Playoff Beards knows no bounds. They are already favored by Vegas over the Cards, despite finishing the season with a worse record (gotta love that tie!) and playing on the road. You know what that means, right? They have absolutely no hope of winning. Just ask Carolina…
What kind of odds can I get that Mary Beth King is a fat pig like her dad?
Can anyone think of worse conference representative in the super bowl than this year’s NFC teams?
This thing reads like a “Sh!t Sandwich”, your takes are so old I might as well be listening to “Steely Dan” and watching “Christine”. Give the choice between “AB”(sic), I’d have “Chosin” death. Any “Anonymous Poster” could have done better. You’ve got some “Balls” cause this sinks like a sh!t ton of “Brikz”. Cows could type better, “CJ/L_Sssshhhblack”, for example. A pox of “Red Fingers”, “Vertigo” and “Jade” green deuces to you.
As always, very truly yours,
Mr Hyde
P.S. “Spartan”
P.S.S. canigetaverdict.com