Director: Quiet on the set! Alright, you ready to go, Kevin?
KG: What the fuck you mean, am I ready to go? KG is always on point….
Director: Alright, here we go. And we’re rolling.
KG: I wanna talk to you mothafuckas about something important today. Heart disease is killin’ niggaz every single day. Now, that’s some serious bullshit. You wanna cure heart disease?
STOP ACTIN’ LIKE BITCHES!
Director: Cut, cut, cut. Ummmmm, KG… what was that?
KG: That’s the realness muthafucka. The truth.
Paul Pierce: Sup KG?
KG: I ain’t talkin’ ’bout you, dog. I’m tellin’ bitch-made niggaz the truth about heart disease.
CUZ THEY AIN’T GOT NO GODDAMN HEART! THEY CAN’T SEE KG, THE UNDISPUTED KING OF ALL MUTHAFUCKIN’ WARRIORS! Now get back to work on your lazy ass, only in the playoffs defense. And don’t ever let me see your punk ass get carried off the floor, only to return like 3 minutes later.
THAT’S STRAIGHT BULLSHIT!!!
Paul Pierce: Alright man. Peace.
Director: KG, my man. Why aren’t you reading off the teleprompter, as we discussed?
KG: Chill with that “my man” shit. I am my own man! Wanna challenge my fuckin’ throne!?!?!?!
YOU GOTTA COME AND TAKE THAT SHIT! (Slaps the concrete floor, gets down on all fours and barks like a dog repeatedly)
The NBA is full of muthafuckas that ain’t got shit in they chest but a Valentine’s Day Candy Box. CANDY BOX HEARTS DON’T BEAT WITH INTENSITY LIKE KG’S!
THEY WOULDN’T KNOW REAL HEART IF KG CUT OUT A BACKUP POINT GUARD’S AND LEFT THAT SHIT ON THEIR DOORSTEP, STILL FUCKIN’ BEATIN’!!!
Director: Very well then. We’ll just fix what we have in post. But we do need one more shot, and this is the most important. It’s the money shot, the one where you say “The more you know.” Very important for the network. Crucial, even. (addresses crew) It’s crunch time people!
KG: Oh shit! Where’s Ray Allen? He should be the one to do this.