We all love sports. But every once in a while, something comes along the news ticker that causes us to look again. And again. And again! We can keep staring at the news item but it still isn’t making any sense. And it isn’t going to.
This isn’t a list of all-time ‘WTF’ moments, just those that are populating our sports world at this moment.
“Whatever, I’m high…”
1. Manny Ramirez doesn’t have a job
Are you kidding me?! Manny’s production last year with the Dodgers was off the charts. Do I expect him to repeat those other-worldly stats? Of course not. But you look at his career averages and you have to realize that he was a top 3 talent on the market this year. And no one wants this guy because he’s kind of goofy? Absurd.
The BCS: Crapping on college football since 1995!
2. The BCS
Greatest level of the greatest sport in the greatest country in the world with the worst, most bass-akwards way of finding thier champion. My five year old duaghter can draw a eight team bracket and figure out the playoff system.
Money terribly spent
3. Bad NBA contracts
Before he agreed to a buyout a couple days ago, Stephon Marbury was earning $20.8 million this season. He didn’t play a single minute for them all season. Can you imagine doing your job so poorly that your employer would rather pay you your salary to do nothing all day? Andrei Kirilenko is earning $15.1 million this season to come off the bench. He was a pretty good player from 2003-2006, but he’s not that good anymore. Not even close. Then there’s Jermaine O’Neal, who nobody seems to want on their team, earning $21.37 million this year. NBA teams throw way too much money at the wrong guys way too often. How does that happen? Good agents? Inept owners/GMs? It will be interesting to see what happens in the free agent market this summer during a recession.
“Give me your soul before I take it from you!”
4. The Raiders
I get that Al Davis is crazy, so some of you may think that the Raiders being terrible makes sense. But Al Davis is crazy about winning football games. They have an owner that is okay with shelling out money (You see that contract Asomugha got?!) and a very loyal fan base, why can’t they at least get to mediocrity?
“Whatever. KG, Paul, Ray-Ray: go score more points than them.”
5. Doc Rivers is a good NBA coach
I mean, he’s got to be a good coach, right? They only give Coach of the Year awards to good coaches, right? Before he was blessed with Garnett, Pierce, AND Allen, a Doc Rivers coached team had never made it out of the first round of the playoffs. In fact, before the Holy Trinity of Boston was brought together, he had a record of 102-144 in Boston. With those guys his coaching record is 110-27. So we’re sure he’s a good coach now? It couldn’t just be that he’s got three All-Star players, any of which would be the top banana on lots of NBA teams?
Generously cropped out man tits
6. Bill Parcells’ opt-out clause
So instead of Parcells having 30 days after the end of the season to decide if he wants to come back for seconds on Dolphin, he can leave at any time and still gets all his money? Nice negotiating, Huizenga.
“Thunder so loud it’ll be Supersonic! No, wait…”
7. An NBA team in OKC
Other than being the state capitol of the land that was so god-awful we gave it to the Natives, do you know what OKC has going for it? Me neither.
Baby mama drama got you down, friend?
8. NFL player releases
Out with the old and in with the new. We’re seeing big names being released from teams left and right. Staples in their communities are being uprooted. Players like Derrick Brooks and Keith “Please Don’t Watch Me in Pass Coverage” Brooking mean just as much to the cities of Tampa and Atlanta respectively as citizens than as players. Warrick Dunn is probably seeing the writing on the wall with this being his second release in as many seasons by teams in cities that are dear to him. Maybe the Saints will sign Warrick so he can bring his philanthropic vibes to the N.O. only to cut him in the off-season like everyone else does. Fred Taylor had been a Jaguar since 1948. There will be no more Manning to Harrison! WTF… How crazy is that? The business side of the sport and the physical nature of the NFL doesn’t leave much room for loyalty.
Okay, enough with the emotional crap. These meat heads are set for life and yeah.. I’m a little envious. Anyway, it’s FREE AGENCY time. Who will be the winners? Who will be the losers? Who will be active and over spend? (see.. Redskins). Who will be active and spend wisely? (see.. Patriots and Falcons). Who will pretty much stand pat? What teams are just one major piece away from being amongst the elite? What teams will be cow manure no matter who they bring in? (see.. The Hogs again with their signing of Albert Haynesworth). It’s definitely an exciting time of the year for the NFL. But whether it’s off-season, the combines, the draft, preseason, or game day Sunday.. isn’t the NFL always exciting? They’re proving everyday that they’re king here in America. -R. Queso
“Nice to see you again Tracy. What’s it been? Three, four days?”
9. Why do the Rockets always play better when one of their star players gets hurt?
It just happened again last night. The Rockets manhandled Lebron James and the Cavs without T-Mac to the tune of a 93-74 shellacking. They better hope they can keep it up because McGrady’s microfracture surgery will keep him out of basketball for 6-12 months. So far, the Rockets are 6-0 since he went out for the season. For the season, the Rockets are 17-6 without McGrady. Last year, they went 19-8 without Yao Ming. The rest of those guys in Houston just step up their game whenever they need to. Are they better off without McGrady? I quote my girlfriend after last nights game, “If they get a good matchup and finally get out of the first round (without Mcgrady), I don’t know if he’d ever recover from that.”
4. Why can’t they get to mediocrity? Al won’t hire a coach that has any balls, Al can’t evaluate talent, and nobody worth a shit wants to go there. Besides that, nothing.
5. Nobody wins in the NBA without players. P. Jackson always had either Shaq or Kobe, Riley had Magic/Kareem or Shaq/Wade, Red Auerbach always had Russell.
7. Yeah, Seattle sports franchises have set the bar very high for success.