It’s that time of year again, sports fans. The time when we separate the men from the boys. That’s right; the NBA Playoffs are here. Now, if you’re here looking for expert analysis, then I’m sorry. There are other sites more suited for that sort of thing.
No, we here at Pyle of List like to break things down so everyone can understand them. What does that mean? It means hot chicks.
That’s right, we’ve found a hot chick to represent each team. How have we done so? Easy, we’ve found someone from each team’s region (either born or residing there) and put them in a ring*.
*ring may or may not be filled with $240 worth of pudding.
Our very own JP and DLamp will then dissect who is better looking, and that translates to the teams moving on. Got it? Who am I kidding, you read ‘hot chicks’ two paragraphs ago and have completely skipped ahead. On to the match-ups!
Angelina Jolie (LA Lakers) vs. Jewel (Utah Jazz)
DLamp’s take: This is such a good metaphor. I mean, like the Jazz, Jewel is pretty good. You wouldn’t kick her out of bed for eating crackers now would you? But, like the Lakers, Angie is just in another league right now.
JP’s take: In a battle of lips versus teeth, lips win in a landslide. That’s a lesson folks, FIX YO MOUF!
Winner: Angelina Jolie (Los Angeles Lakers)
BreAnn McGregor (New Orleans Hornets) vs. Renee Herlocker (Denver Nuggets)
DLamp’s take:What can I say, I’m blinded by the superstars. Even though she’s got a bit of a party belly (which means that without lighting and air brushing she won’t look as good) I’m taking BreAnn.
JP’s take: Renee has got this one because she’s the better overall package, even though BreAnn has the better single asset. Nuggets and Hornets will play out in a similar way, with the better team triumphing over the superstar (Chris Paul).
Winner: Toss up (but really, aren’t we all winners.
Brooke Burns (Dallas Mavericks) vs. Penny Drake (San Antonio Spurs)
DLamp’s take: Man, it was really hard for me not to include Jenna Bush in this, because she has some hilarious pics to choose from (SFW). Penny in a first round KO. Like I’ve always said, “the whiter the berry, the sweeter the juice!”.
JP’s take: Penny Drake takes this one, as will the Spurs. The Mavs are about ready to cool off and ultimately Brooke Burns, like Dallas, is a little over-rated when you look closely.
Winner: Penny Drake (San Antonio Spurs)
Missi Pyle (Houston Rockets) vs. Liv Tyler (Portland Trailblazers)
DLamp’s take:No one can resist the side boob. Pyle.
JP’s take: This one’s easy: Pyle Family FTW!!!!!
Winner: Missi Pyle (Houston Rockets)
So, what if penny drake was missing an eye (ginolbli). I could understand picking penny, but a war torn penny?
Great observation on the Mavs cooling off, because the spurs aren’t cooling…wait, nevermind. Both these teams are slowly fading. One could be better off having their team bounced in the first round. Spurs lose to the Mavs, they’ll take a hard look ad make some changes for the future. Mavs lose in the first round, Cuban will go crazy and fire another coach mid stride, I think it’s Lenny Wilkins’ turn.