Whoa, listen, I know things didn’t go the way you planned in your last start. 83 pitches to not even get out of the third inning is rough. Yeah, I thought a couple of those calls were bogus too.
But crying? In the dugout? On national TV? *sigh*
It’s okay, baby KERSHAW!1!, come rest your weary head on my bossom. I will let you dry those eyes on my homemade Kerlampshaw jersey.
Shh shh shh, it’s okay, those bad men can’t get to you any more. You’ll get them next time, I’m sure of it. I never want to see those gorgeous eyes of yours filled with tears ever again!
Final line: 2.2 IP, 4 hits, 3 ER, 4 BB, 2 Lembecks.