Salutations all, I’m Toque from Seattle – another new addition to ye olde pyleoflist team. I’ll be covering Mixed Martial Arts, also known as MMA.
What qualifies me you ask? Well, I hold black belts in Judo, Aikido and am currently the 5th ranked fighter in the world of bare knuckle murse (male nurse) kickboxing.
Coming up August, 29th is UFC 102 from Portland Oregon.
The card starts out with a light heavyweight (205 lbs) bout between Brandon “The Truth” Vera and Krzysztof “The Polish Experiment” Soszynski. And, no – I do not make up these ridiculous nicknames.
Both of these fighters are well rounded in striking and submissions. I give the edge in the grappling department to Vera. However, this will probably be a battle of who has the better stand-up skills. Which is also slightly in Vera’s favor. Expect a slugfest.
Prediction: Vera by decision.
Next we have a very interesting middleweight (185 lbs) fight between Nate “The Great” Marquardt and Demian “Nocturnal Emissions” Maia. OK, I made that last one up. Maia doesn’t have a nickname though, and it’s high time he got one. Check back for my not-so-live fight diary to see what my friends and I came up with.
The winner of this fight is said to get the next crack at Middleweight Champion and arguably the best pound for pound fighter in the world Anderson Silva.
Marquardt is a 7 time King of Pancrase (prior to his UFC career) and is 8 -2 in his last 10 fights. One of his losses being to the aforementioned Anderson Silva, and the other being a very controversial split decision loss to Thales Leites.
Maia is a perfect 10 – 0 with 8 wins by submission. The man is retard strong on the ground having earned the UFC’s “Submission of the Night” award a record 4 times.
If this fight goes to the ground, it’s game over for Marquardt. His only hope is to keep it standing and defend Maia’s takedowns. But if the fight stays on the feet, Marquardt is clearly the better striker and probably the better conditioned athlete.
Prediction: Maia by submission. Possible penetration.
The third fight on the main card is confusing. It features a middleweight fight between Chris “The Crippler” Leben and Jake Rosholt.
Leben was a cast member on the original season of The Ultimate Fighter. Rosholt is a World Extreme Cagefighting (WEC) transplant and in only his second fight under the UFC banner.
The fight doesn’t make much sense as a main card event because both fighters are coming off losses and Leben is coming off of a steroid suspension. The only real selling point is that both men are from the Pacific Northwest. Rosholt is from Sandpoint, Idaho. Leben is a Portland native.
Leben is a southpaw striker, Rosholt is a wrestler. In his previous fights Rosholt has shown a very shaky striking game, but decent takedown ability. Leben is the more seasoned veteran, can take a punch better than Rihanna, and has knockout power.
Prediction: Leben by KO
Leading into the Main Event is a light heavyweight contest between “The Dean of Mean” Keith Jardine and Thiago Silva.
Jardine looks like he fell out of the Ugly Tree, directly into the Ugly Truck, and dropped off in Uglyvania. He’s something of a gatekeeper in the 205 lbs division. 6 – 4 in the UFC. He has wins over two former Light Heavyweight champs, Forrest Griffin (before he won the title) and Chuck Liddell (after he lost the title). But has recently been alternating wins with losses.
Silva is 13 - 1, with his one loss being to current Light Heavyweight Champ and renowned ’magic pee‘ drinker Lyoto Machida.
Silva is an aggressive fighter. Jardine has a very awkward striking style. I think this fight will stay on the feet. If Jardine can weather Silva’s early onslaught of punches, kicks, and knees I think Jardine can wear Silva down with a combo of movement and leg/body kicks.
Prediction: Jardine by decision.
The Main Event is a heavyweight bout between Randy “The Natural” Couture and Antonio “Minotauro” Nogueira.
Couture is a former UFC Heavyweight and Light Heavyweight champion. Nogueria is a former PRIDE Heavyweight and UFC Interim Heavyweight champion. This is a fight that I have been waiting to see for years. Both men are absolute warriors.
Couture is an MMA legend who recently lost his title to Brock Lesnar – at the age of 46! He is the only man to be a 5 time UFC Champion and is one of only two men to hold the title in two separate weight divisions (BJ Penn is the other).
Nogueria is arguably the best Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu heavyweight with 2/3 of his wins coming by way of submission. He is renowned for taking massive amounts of punishment and then just slapping on a fight ending choke or armbar. He was finished for the first time ever in his career, last December, when he lost the Interim Heavyweight title to Frank Mir (who has since been demolished by Brock Lesnar, the UFC Heavyweight Champ).
I expect this to be an exciting fight. The crowd at the Rose Garden will be going apeshit for Couture because he was based in Oregon for much of his career. That, and everyone knows Oregonians hate foreigners.
Both men are good boxers and fight well out of the clinch. I don’t really expect either man to throw any kicks in this contest. Couture is an excellent wrestler and may even want to try to take Nogueria down to ground & pound him.
(Sidenote: ‘ground & pound’ or ‘GNP’ basically looks like the “Punching and Fucking” scene from Californication. Minus the tits.)
But as I mentioned before, Nogueria is a very dangerous BJJ black belt. He’s also 13 years younger. Though, I’ve learned to never really count out Couture. This fight could go either way – with one man back on the road to the UFC Heavyweight title and the other looking at the twilight of his career.
Prediction: Couture by TKO
There you have it. Be sure to check back for my not-so-live fight diary.
“My power is discombobulatingly devastating. I could feel his muscle tissues collapse under my force. It’s ludicrous these mortals even attempt to enter my realm.”
-Mike Tyson
Toque rules!