You know the greatest thing to ever happen to the NFL wears number 4. But it has become obvious that Brett, sorry (what am I thinking), Sir His Holiness Mr. Favre, doesn’t have his sights set on the Hall of Fame anymore.
And since all he would have to do to become President is hold a press conference wearing a dingy cap stating he would never consider himself capable of running the country and CNN and Fox News would join together to plead for him to reconsider, it stands to reason he’s no longer just looking at the White House.
In fact, an ego that big could only be satisfied with control of the entire world. And we know that’s where this is all headed.
But let’s not get ahead of ourselves, Mr. Favre couldn’t take over the world just yet. There’s still work to be done.
Mr. Farve became the first QB to beat all 32 teams a couple of weeks ago, and this week he brought (Insert team he plays for this year) to 5-0 for the first time in his career.
But even now, Mr. Favre understand that there are other things he can do to make his legacy into the kind of guy we can create huge golden statues of to worship later in life.
Win a game on crutches
This one’s easy. McNabb won a game a few years back on a broken ankle and he ain’t half the man or god or whatever that Brett Favre is. So, here’s how this plays out: Favre gets one of those low hits from a Defensive End that would send Tom Brady into a fit for a flag and Favre shatters his knee and breaks his fibia. His return is doubtful, to say the least, or would be if he were anyone but Brett Favre. As the offense takes the field, Favre hobbles out on crutches and plays the rest of the game. Out of respect for the greatness that is Brett Favre the opposing team makes no attempt to sack His Holiness and in fact clears a path when the coverage down field requires him to run for one first down. The next week he is completely healed and starts the game as usual.
Establish the record for completing passes to himself
Favre has set a host of NFL passing records, and has many others in his sights since it appears he’ll play for 2-3 more years. But why not go for the a record that would sum up his entire career: most completed passes to himself! I’m not sure if anyone is keeping track of this yet, but Favre can make it happen.
Sexually harassing a sideline reporter
This one may not happen until he retires a la Namath, but I wouldn’t bet on it. As a noted and proud good ‘ol boy, it’s only a matter of time until Brett says or does something totally inappropriate while being interviewed before, during or after a game. Alcohol and pain pills may or may not be involved.
Play for both teams in a Super Bowl
With a wave of his hand and a twinkle of his eye, Favre convinces the NFL to instate an All Time QB rule just for Favre. His logic is that he only plays the game for fun, and the most fun had in football in is backyard pickup games, which usually require an All Time QB. Favre then proceeds to unretire and sign with two teams, one in each conference, and takes them both to the big game. Then sets Super Bowl record for most INTs in a game with 8.
Play Trombone in Halftime Show
Oh, you don’t think Favre can play the trombone? Well then you don’t know Favre! No one can slide his hand back and forth while pursing his lips and blowing like Favre. Nobody! Just ask Peter King…