“Close doesn’t count in baseball. Close only counts in horsehoes and hand grenades.”
-Frank Robinson
My detailed and exhaustive three minute Internet search couldn’t reveal the exact origin of this phrase. It seems that Frank was the first person quoted in writing (in the 70′s), but some sources indicate it first started in 1935. Either would make sense because of the wars during those periods.
It makes sense that the first part of the phrase has faded into existence. The second sentence actually packs more of a punch when standing alone. It’s the simple truth. Close doesn’t count in pretty much everything else. (Except The Price Is Right.)
It’s an appropriate phrase for this week because a few of the undefeated teams came close to giving away their perfect seasons, either through pick-sixes or a refusal to play offense.
But despite the poor excuses for football games that some teams participated in, the other word to describe last weekend is “stability.” It’s the first weekend since the start of the season that an undefeated team hasn’t lost.
My record stands at 40-14, but the two teams I incorrectly picked to lose won on the last play of the game, so I think I should get half points and make it 41-13. (But, since close doesn’t count, let’s move on to this week’s rankings/picks.)
#7 Iowa: Has a less impressive team ever been #1 in the BCS computer polls? After the game I saw an ESPN writer’s headline that said Iowa had “delivered another clutch performance.” It made me want to throw a Hawkeye in the guy’s face. Iowa should not be praised in any way, shape, or form. That’s like praising a father who forgets to buy Christmas presents until the night before, and when he hurries outside to run to the store, he trips on the porch and lands in the front yard only to find that the most sought after gift of the year has been placed at the bottom of the stairs, gift-wrapped, ready for him to give to his children and take all the credit for this mysterious benefactor’s good deed. (In this case, the benefactor is no mystery, it’s Spartan defensive coordinator Pat Narduzzi.)
Iowa is taking “winning ugly” to an entirely uglier level. It’s winning “with genetic defects and burned beyond recognition.” Look for more of the same “style” of football when they play Indiana tomorrow.
Winner: Iowa
#6 Boise State: In a way, I feel for the Broncos. They are like the best friend character to the quirky lovable girl in an 80′s teen comedy. There is nothing they can do to prove that they are beautiful. Maybe at the end of the film they get a moment to shine, but more often than not they are completely forgotten about while the main story comes to a close.
Short of setting a rushing, passing, and scoring record all in the same game, there is no way to impress the voters enough to move them up. They are once again the scavengers of the football kingdom, dependent on other predators to take down their prey so they can nourish on the leftovers.
This week they host San Jose State. USC pounded this team back when their offense consisted of letting Joe McKnight run around a lot and passing into the flat followed by pushing over the smaller players. Boise State’s polished offense will have no trouble scoring.
Winner: Boise State
#5 Cincinnati: Most of the country was unaware the Bearcats even had quarterbacks, much less system quarterbacks. But the back-up stepped in right where Tony Pike had left off, picking apart the secondary without getting any praise from the sports world. They’re the Texas Tech of the Big East, except they have a much better shot of playing for the National Title than Tech has ever said. (And before you say “what about last year,” remember that Tech had to get through Oklahoma. And if you ever thought they were going to beat Oklahoma last year, then I’ve got some lake-front property to sell you nowhere.)
Cincy and Iowa are equally frustrating. If the Hawkeyes were winning the way Cincy is, we could give them more credit. If Cincy was struggling like Iowa is, we could write them off. But right now it’s anyone’s guess what will happen.
This week Cincy plays at Syracuse. If they lose this game, they should have all of their other wins from the season revoked.
Winner: Cincy
#4 TCU: I’ve had a secret love for the Horned Frogs ever since they beat Oklahoma in Norman to open the 2005 season. This season could give them a chance to crash a BCS game, and the chances are high that they will play much better defense than their opponent. Would another win (or even a close, good game) by the Mountain West conference finally give them the ultimate credibility?
Not to get ahead of ourselves, because TCU still has to win a lot of games. But tomorrow’s is against UNLV, so we can at least get ahead of that.
Winner: TCU
#3 Florida: Dan Mullen’s familiarity with Florida didn’t help him score against their defense, but having run the Florida offense so well, he was able to tell Mississippi State Johnthan Banks exactly where to stand in order to catch Tebow’s passes. (He was not, however, successfully able to give the man an accurate first name.)
Florida’s offense has shown not just an inability to completely blow everyone’s minds but a failure to do the fundamentals. If not for Florida’s defensive “touchdown,” this is a 3-point game that could have turned out differently. This particular game had three defensive touchdowns, so I can’t knock the Gators for winning with their defense in this case. But while their defense can absolutely keep them in games, it can’t win all of them, no matter how many bogus touchdown calls it gets.
The flaws have been exposed and are waiting to be taken advantage of, but I don’t think Georgia is the team to do it.
Winner: Florida
#2 Alabama: Sure, I said 9-6 instead of 12-10, but boy was I ever right about this being a cemetery game where SEC offenses go to die. Winning on a blocked field goal is lucky in one sense, doing what it takes in another. Winning on two blocked field goals would seem to lean towards being VERY good at what you do, but I look at it as being VERY lucky. (If Bama fans want to be happy about winning with two blocked field goals, they are essentially equating themselves with Iowa and accepting that this method of play is okay.)
Some are blaming Kiffin for being too conservative in the end. But they don’t want to risk a turnover, don’t want to get sacked, don’t want to run out of time, are within the kicker’s range, and have the chance to give the kicker a MAJOR confidence boost by letting him take down the nation’s #1 team.
So I don’t blame him for kicking. But I do blame him for not saying to the offensive line, “Gentlemen, do you see that HUGE BEAST OF A MAN on Alabama’s side? You know, the guy that’s already blocked one field goal. Please be sure to double-team him. That might allow some other guys an opportunity to block, but at least we won’t have the embarrassment of losing due to letting the same guy block two kicks.”
Bama has the bye week to fix its problems, but all it will take to beat them is a team that can somewhat contain Ingram and score a touchdown before the final two minutes. LSU is still a question mark, but I think they can do that.
#1 Texas: Sure? They did just destory Missouri, who’s pretty good…right? And the Big 12 is okay this year…I think. The main reason I was holding them back was that they were letting teams hang around, and that wasn’t the case last week. So they have to be number one…cause who else is going to be.
Meanwhile, “experts” are predicting that the Longhorns will lose to Oklahoma State tomorrow. I just don’t see it. At this point I’m convinced Texas will be in the national title game, which should be…watchable…maybe.
Winner: Texas
Iowa has played the most difficult schedule of any of the unbeatens, dick.
They also beat their two Division I-AA opponents by a combined 4 points and have won only one game by more than 11 points (i.e. two score game).