(An unrelated sport, but too awesome of a pic not to use.)
Not too long ago, a friend and I realized that Colt McCoy looks a lot like Luke Skywalker. Apparently we’re not the only ones who’ve thought this, as another site has already pointed it out. But their comparison stops at the physical appearance. We feel that the similarities go FAR beyond that as Colt and Luke have both led adventure-filled lives and been surrounded by an interesting cast of characters.
Here are some events/people from the Star Wars universe and their McCoy parallels:
Luke’s Boring Young Adult Life (starring Tuscola, Texas as the moisture farms on Tatooine)
The desert life on Tatooine is so miserable that moisture has to be farmed. That’s a job fit only for the very few dealt the stick short enough to force them into it. While McCoy’s hometown doesn’t look quite as arid (though you never can tell with Texas), it looks just as boring, and its population of only 714 indicates that it’s also not a desired lifestyle for the masses.
Shooting Womp Rats (starring unspecified varmints as the womp rats)
While passing the time on the lonely planet of Tatooine and dreaming of bigger and better things, Luke used to shoot womp rats, a type of critter that we never see, though it is described as being less than 2 meters across. Meanwhile, Colt was asked on a radio show what he did during the 2008 Big 12 Championship game that Texas was snubbed from, and he responded that he went “spotlighting” to shoot some varmints.
McCoy: “You just have to go out there and shoot stuff to get all this anger out.”
We understand that you felt life was passing you by, but you must be careful, Colt. Anger leads to hate, and hate leads to suffering.
In Over His Head (starring almost any Austin bar as the Mos Eisley Cantina)
Given his small town upbringing and down home Christian values, chances are Colt McCoy had never stepped foot in a bar before heading off to college. The boy’s got a good head on his shoulders, so I’m sure he stayed pretty much in line. But you know that some guys on the team took him out to a bar at some point his freshman year. And just like Luke, he was probably greatly overwhelmed and shocked at the bizarre creatures he saw around him.
It’s also not out of the question for men to lose their hands in Austin bars, though such an event is usually preceded by the yelled phrase, “Hold my beer and watch this!”
The Master Tutor (starring Vince Young as Obi Wan Kenobi)
McCoy remembers Vince Young telling him during the Texas/USC Rose Bowl of 2006 that “he would be hear one day.” Whether Young knew it would be four years later in the same venue with the same trophy on the line while once again playing the role of the underdog, we’ll never know. But it appears that on top of being superhuman, he’s also a prophet.
Luke learned more from Kenobi than he realized, but ultimately it was Kenobi’s sacrifice and departure that allowed Luke to step up and be the hero. Similarly, McCoy’s legacy began with a sensational, record-breaking redshirt-freshman season that would have been impossible had Young not left earlier than most fans would have liked.
The Great Helper (starring Jordan Shipley as R2D2)
These guys do a hell of a lot and get hardly any credit for it. R2 carries messages, opens doors, repairs ships, stops trash compactors, etc. Shipley returns punts, makes fantastic catches, and usually gets tons of yardage after the catch. Yes, their counterparts are very good, but without the two of them, they wouldn’t be where they are today.
The Real Star Of The Show (starring Will Muschamp as Han Solo)
They’re both full of energy and very entertaining to watch. And when things get rough for Luke or Colt, they’re the ones that have to bail them out. Sure they work well with their counterparts, but they were doing just fine (smuggling, scaring the hell out of opposing offenses) before those guys came along.
Of course, some people already have Muschamp pegged as another iconic figure.
Using the Force To Blow Up The Death Star (starring Ohio State as the Death Star and Jim Tressel’s playbook as the Empire’s engineering blueprints)
Things seemed grim for both of our heroes. The missile guidance system wasn’t working, and Ohio State had taken a four point lead with only two minutes left in the game. But both enemies had a fatal flaw. One had left an exposed opening just ripe for firing missiles into. The other had left a soft defense just ripe for picking apart until they were so worn down that they gave up the big play.
But in both cases, it wasn’t a total loss for the enemy. While the Death Star was destroyed, Darth Vader escaped with his life to fight another day. And though Ohio State lost, Tressel wasn’t humiliated like many expected and learned enough from the experience to emerge from his next BCS battle victorious.
The Wise Counselor (starring Mack Brown as Yoda)
In addition to the slight physical resemblance, both were formative figures in shaping the young men into the great warriors they would later become. They’re goofy at times, stoic at others, and always fun to quote. Plus they’re both so darn likable.
Luke Loses His Hand (starring Michael Crabtree as Darth Vader)
Luke had more of a disadvantage here, as it never really seemed like he had a chance to beat Vader. Meanwhile, Texas had Texas Tech on the ropes after taking a one point lead with only a minute and thirty seconds remaining. But things looked grim for them when the Raiders pulled within a reasonable distance of a game-winning field goal attempt.
Then, the unthinkable happened. Darth cut off Luke’s hand, and Crabtree hauled in a touchdown with only one second left on the clock. Both events sent shockwaves through the audiences that were watching, and both lead up to…
A Surprising Revelation (starring the Big 12 Championship Game selection tiebreaker as “No, I am your father.”)
When Vader asked Luke to join him, he refused not on the basis that Darth was evil but for the more personal reason that Vader killed his father. But then the rug was pulled out from under him (and the collective audience) as he learned that, in fact, Darth Vader was his father.
It didn’t make any sense. He’d been made to believe that this person was the enemy, but now he didn’t quite know what that meant. Sort of how we as a society, Colt McCoy included, had been made to believe that a team is better than another team with the same record if they beat them. But that turned out not to be the case when Oklahoma was chosen over Texas to be in the Big 12 title game.
Sure, both things sort of made sense when you got the full story, but the initial reaction was shock and outrage.
Dark Side Luke (starring Colt McCoy’s mustache as Luke Skywalker’s facial scars)
Luke returned in the third film sporting some faded scars that were never explained. (Actor Mark Hamill was in a car accident between the filming of the second and third movies.) It made him seem much more grown-up and fairly badass. And the mystery of it all just added to it.
Likewise, with the stache Colt showed up with for an interview. There’s probably a story as to why he grew it, but I don’t want to know it. That thing made the boy look like a man. I miss it, but it’s probably better than he got rid of it instead of letting it lead him to the Dark Side.
Taking Down A Giant (starring Sam Bradford as the AT-ST and the BYU defensive line as the Ewoks)
While Colt McCoy was still the most well-known Big 12 quarterback at the beginning of this season, it was impossible to ignore the hype building up about his main competition, Sam Bradford, the Oklahoma QB who’d come out of seemingly nowhere the year before to win the Heisman Trophy.
Not only could a good season from Bradford derail McCoy’s run at a Heisman, but a loss in the Red River Shootout would likely keep the Longhorns out of the National Championship game once again.
Luckily Colt didn’t have to worry about either of those things, as an injury at the hands of BYU’s dominant defensive line made him miss a few games. And his return in the Texas game was short-lived as he got hurt once again.
Just like Colt had nothing to do with Bradford’s injury, Luke had nothing to do with taking out the AT-ST. But without that accomplishment, neither one of them would have succeeded.
Same Event, Different Result (starring 1 second left on the clock as Darth Vader’s hand)
When Luke fought Vader for the second time, he didn’t use finesse. He just pounded the crap out of him. And when the time came, he gave Darth a taste of his own medicine by cutting off his hand.
It’s funny how history repeats itself. In 2008, Texas Tech kept Texas out of the Big 12 Championship game by scoring with one second left. In 2009, Texas kick a game-winning field goal in the Big 12 Championship game with one second left, a second that they had to argue to get back.
Vader Sacrifices Himself To Save Luke From The Emperor (starring Ndamukong Suh as the Emperor and Nebraska’s kick-off team as Darth Vader)
There’s no other way to say it; Luke was getting his ass kicked by the Emperor. And as agonizing as that pain surely was, the stuff Suh was doing to McCoy was arguably worse. Neither one had any chance of survival on their own. And none of their friends were around to help them out.
Thankfully, they were sabotaged from within. Vader finally felt like a father and saved his son’s life. And Nebraska’s kicker was nice enough to kick the ball out of bounds and set up the Longhorns on their own 40, meaning they didn’t have to go very far to set up the game-winning field goal.
You just can’t find good help these days.
The Ultimate Showdown (starring Nick Saban as the Emperor)
I know I just said Suh was the Emperor, but that was for a specific scenario. The thing is, McCoy has never had one consistent enemy over the course of his career. So if we have to choose just one, why not make it the ultimate bad guy?
Both of these guys are greedy and crave power. They have goons that they will use to attack our hero. They believe in the Dark Side and will do whatever they can to see it succeed.
Luke was able to take his enemy down. Can McCoy do the same? We’ll find out tomorrow night.
looks like a no on beating the emperor, feel bad for him..
Damn, why did you have to put “Luke Loses His Hand” thing