Over the coming weeks, we’ll be taking a look at each division in baseball and gazing into the future for each club.
Now, we are not experts like the people over at SI who decided to start this very same thing today. Jerks. We’re not in locker rooms, not being flown out to spring training facilities to see how prospects and injury recoveries are progressing. So why should you read our preview?
1) It will be funnier (at least I hope)
2) We will make wild, crazy predictions that legitimate sources won’t dare make
3) We’ll talk a little fantasy baseball
4) Pro wrestlers. That’s right, we’ll compare each team to its 90′s pro wrestling counterpart. Spoiler alert: get ready for a Doink the Clown reference, Pirates fans!
So we start with the division that holds last year’s champion. Read on!
New York Yankees – 2009 finish: 1st, 2010 prediction: 1st
The Rub: “And the rich get richer”is kind of what everyone is preaching, but I don’t buy it. Granderson and Damon is about an even trade (Granderson is younger/faster, Damon hit like Babe Ruth Paul O’Neil in the new stadium). Nick Johnson is just as much an injury risk as Matsui was, just without the long track record. And Javier Vasquez…well, that’s the linchpin for all this improvement talk. If he repeats last year’s stats, then yes, the best team got better. But if he falls back (which is very likely given the stronger lineups he will be facing in the AL) then they basically stood pat with a couple calculated risks. I am picking them to win the division, but it’s risky because everyone knows how important coke can be to NY baseball teams, and they traded theirs away in the Granderson deal. HIYO!
Crazy Prediction: George Steinbrenner will die this season. Listen, dude is old. And people with his money and power don’t usually lead the kinds of lives that lead to healthy hearts. Just remember, when you see Derek Jeter crying at a press conference about how ‘Ol ‘Brenner was like a dad to him, I called that shit like a bank shot.
Fantasy Scoop: If you wind up with A-Rod, or Texiera, or CC you’re going to be happy. Of course. But don’t forget about Old Man Posada behind the plate. It’s like his crouch is hiding him from fantasy players’ eyes. Let’s compare him to Brian McCann, who is usually the third catcher off the board: better average (.285 vs .281), more HR (22 vs 21), better OBP (.363 vs .349), better slugging (.522 vs .486)… you get the point. Posada can offer great value considering you can get him in the double digit rounds (10 or later).
90′s Wrestler: Ric Flair
To be the man, you gotta beat the man. And every year, the Yankees are the man. Much like Flair to wrestling, the Yankees are baseball’s perfect heel. Without them, the Ricky Steamboat’s of the league don’t have nearly the draw power.
Boston Red Sox – 2009 finish: 2nd (wild card), 2010 prediction: 3rd
The Rub: It’s hard to be unbiased here, because I hate the Red Sox, but even giving them too much credit to overcompensate for my hate, I don’t see this lineup scoring as many runs as it did last year. Cameron is no Jason Bay, and Adrian Beltre is no Mike Lowell (at least offensively). And it’s just another year of David Ortiz and JD Drew getting older and worse. Yes, there pitching is stellar. The rotation of Beckett, Lester, Lackey, Bucholtz, and Dice K/Wakefield is outstanding. And even thought Papelbon struggled at times last season (a little too reliant on that fastball) he’s still a top 4 closer. Yes, pitching wins championships, but if your lineup can’t get you to the playoffs, then you’re still screwed.
Crazy Prediction: They resign Manny Ramirez at the trading deadline. With the lineup failing, and sitting in 4th in the east at the All-Star Break, Theo does the unthinkable: he brings back Manny. The McCourts will be none to happy to shit him (and his payroll) out of LA… rather than divide him in half in their divorce, and the BoSox will be desperate for a quick turnaround. I mean, look how well he did for the Dodgers the year they got him at midseason. Right? Right?!
Fantasy Scoop: In AL only leagues, you should be targeting BoSox pitchers very early. After Sabathia, Greinke, Hernandez, and possibly Verlander, you’re looking at four of the next six best pitchers. And all mocks I’ve done have had Bucholtz sitting there WAY too late.
90′s Wrestler: The Undertaker
Man I hated the Undertaker when he first debuted. I remember sitting in front of the TV giving him the double bird and yelling “F U! F U!” at him as he made his way to the ring (much to my friend’s dad’s surprise). But damn that dude just keeps on being good. Yeah, he may step back every now and again (think of this year as ‘biker phase’ ‘Taker) but you know it’s just a matter of time before he rises again.
Tampa Bay Rays – 2009 finish: 3rd, 2010 prediction: 2nd (wild card)
The Rub: People were disappointed with the Rays’ inability to make the playoffs just a year after making the World Series. But that puts them right where they want to be for this year: under-the-radar-dogs. That nucleus that took them through the playoffs is till there, and they’re only getting extra seasoning. And as every food lover will tell you, more flavor=more nom nom. Niemann, Garza, and Shield all finished in the top 25 in the AL in ERA and WHIP. That means that as the lineup matures, those guys are going to see more and more wins. Not to mention that they actual have a real closer now in Rafael Soriano (now known as ‘the good Soriano’. Sorry, Alfonso…) to protect late game leads.
Crazy Prediction: Grant Balfour gets arrested for murder. For some reason, I just think all Australians are capable of killing someone. Maybe it’s their prison island heritage, or I missed the message of the Crocodile Dundee movies. All I’m saying is there is a fine line between “that’s not a knife…THIS is a knife!” and “that’s not a knife…*stabs guy in the gut*”.
Fantasy Scoop: The aforementioned Good Soriano. I don’t know if people don’t trust him, or aren’t sure he’s the closer (he is, look at how much they’re paying him) but he is hanging around the Brian Wilson depths right now. I picked this guy up mid season last year and was ecstatic with his performance. Do yourself a favor and draft him this year.
90′s Wreslter: 1-2-3 Kid
Stop acting so shocked that he’s winning! Since he beat Razor Ramon (multiple times I might add) you’ve got to start giving the young gun a fighting chance.
Toronto Blue Jays – 2009 finish: 4th, 2010 prediction: Is there something lower than 5th? No? Then 5th.
The Rub: Bye bye, Roy Halladay. Hello, official rebuilding year! The nice thing about announcing to everyone that you are rebuilding is that no one expects you to do jack squat. So when you produce jack squat, no one gets all up in arms. The Jays have some nice young pieces (Adam Lind, Aaron Hill, pitching prospects out the ass) but they also have the worst contract in baseball: Vernon Wells. Until that deal is up, or they trade him, they will never be winners. But that’s probably fine. Kyle Drabek, the centerpiece of the Halladay trade, is probably two years away anyways. But fear not, Canadian fans, you still have good bear and some of the best strip clubs in the world. Lemonade, right?
Crazy Prediction: Blue Jays follow Rays lead, drop the word ‘blue’ from team name. ‘Toronto Jays’ has a nice ring to it, no? Then they only sign players whose first or last names start with ‘J’. That would be sweet!
90′s Wrestler: Dino Bravo
Because he’s both Canadian (actually Italian, but billed as Canadian), and because people have long forgotten about how good he used to be. Plus, that Wells contract is like seven slugs to the head. What? Too soon?
Baltimore Orioles – 2009 finish: 5th, 2010 prediction: 4th
The Rub: The Orioles are the Rays circa 2004. You can see that they are stockpiling good, young talent, but you’re not really worried about them yet. But you are worried about them three years down the line. That’s when Adam Jones, Matt Weiters, Nick Markakis, and all those other youngins will be hitting their stride…in theory. That’s the trouble with potential, you never know if it’s actually gonna show up to the party. I actually like the signing of Kevin Millwood to come in and anchor/tutor this young staff. And I think Tejada II will work out as well. But they’ll still be years away from competing in this division…hopefully.
Crazy Prediction: Cal Ripken Jr. un-retires. You heard it here first, folks!
Fantasy Scoop: Look at the numbers Tejada put up last year: .313 BA, 14 HR, 86 RBI, 5 SB. That line can be had in the late teens in most drafts. Did you miss out on a top tier SS? Then take a late flier on Tejada (who will also have 3B eligibility by mid-April) and be happy with the solid line from your round 17 pick.
90′s Wrestler: Marty Jannetty
When Marty Jannetty and Shawn Michaels comprised the tag team The Rockers, everyone behind the curtain had Jannetty pegged as the guy who was destined for singles glory. That’s where the O’s are now: most people’s pick to succeed once they get some seasoning. As it turns out, Michaels was the champion on waiting. O’s fans are hoping my analogy is way off.
Next up: NL East!