Over the coming weeks, we’ll be taking a look at each division in baseball and gazing into the future for each club.
Now, we are not experts like the people over at SI. We’re not in locker rooms, not being flown out to spring training facilities to see how prospects and injury recoveries are progressing. So why should you read our preview?
1) It will be funnier (at least I hope)
2) We will make wild, crazy predictions that legitimate sources won’t dare make
3) We’ll talk a little fantasy baseball
4) Pro wrestlers. That’s right, we’ll compare each team to its 90’s pro wrestling counterpart. Spoiler alert: get ready for a Doink the Clown reference, Pirates fans!
Last week we took a look at the AL East. Today, we’ll look at their NL counterparts. Can anyone beat the Phillies? What will the Mets do to be hilariously bad this year? Isn’t about time for the Marlins to win a World Series and blow up the team again? Read on to find out!
Philadelphia Phillies – 2009 finish: 1st, 2010 prediction: 1st
The Rub: The Phillies are crazy good. They take a team that made it all the way to the World Series and tweak some of the weaker points. Polanco will be an upgrade at 3B, and JA Happ will be better in the rotation than Pedro. Oh, and they got some guy named Roy Halladay. Perhaps you’ve heard of him? He’s pretty good at throwing baseballs. As much as I like Halladay, and that’s a lot, I don’t consider him that much of an upgrade (remember, they had to get rid of Cliff Lee in order to get him). Halladay is going to have a great season (going from the AL East lineups to the NL will do that to a pitcher, right Javier Vasquez?), it’s going to be really hard to top how Lee pitched in the playoffs, which is all the Phillies should be concerned with. With all the money and talent poured into this squad, just making the playoffs isn’t good enough. They need to win titles. Will trading one great pitcher for another give them the nudge to get over the top? I’m not sold.
Crazy Prediction: Ryan Howard hits a HR right handed. Dude is just crazy strong. I can just see him having some fun in a blowout game or the All-Star game and turning it around to the right side of the plate. Then, after we all have a good chuckle, he gets those big hips into one and clears the fences.
Fantasy Scoop: I referenced JA Happ in The Rub, but I want to point out why you should be drafting him this year. He is a starter with RP eligibility. If you play in a league that makes you start a certain number of RPs, Happ can be a great way to get 10 extra wins out of your staff. Other than that, all the hitters are studs (except the catcher and Jimmy Rollins, who some think will bounce back) and Halladay and Hamels are great and good SPs respectively.
90′s wrestler: Shawn Michaels
It seems like all this talent came out of nowhere (The Rockers) but now we have a perennial title contender on our hands. Too bad I already used Marty Jannetty for the Orioles and didn’t save him for the Nationals, otherwise I could use this clip as a metaphor for the season match-up between those two.
Florida Marlins – 2009 finish: 2nd, 2010 prediction: 3rd
The Rub: The Marlins don’t even have to worry about this season, they’ve already won the 2011 World Series! Think about it, they won 4 years after their inception, then 6 years after that, so it stands that 8 years after their second title they will win their 3rd. And that’s next season. So just kick back and enjoy some nice young talent (HanRam, Uggla, Josh Johnson, Cameron Maybin, Chris Coughlin) in your new stadium. It’s all about next year, baby!
Crazy Prediction: Marlins win 2011 World Series. Duh!
Fantasy Scoop: All those guys I named above? Draft them. Josh Johnson is a Cy Young contender and is sticking around late in all mocks I’ve done. Uggla will give you 30 HR and 100 RBI (which is amazing at 2B) in the 5th or 6th round. Maybin and Coughlin can be had on the cheap and could be big surprises. And HanRam shouldn’t make it past pick 2.
90′s wrestler: Texas Tornado
Destined for a championship, but we all know what’s to follow: a horrible, horrible demise.
Atlanta Braves – 2009 finish: 3rd, 2010 prediction: 4th
The Rub: I don’t really understand the Braves. They used to be built around pitching (Maddux/Glavine/Smoltz). Then they added a potent lineup (The Jones’). Now…they’re just kind of middle ground on both fronts. If Hudson comes back for an entire year their rotation will be okay. If Billy Wagner’s arm is fine then they have a closer…which…is nice…I guess. Chipper is falling apart. And Bobby Cox is leaving. But don’t worry! Jason Heyward is almost big league ready! He’ll fit in perfectly with this youth moevem…wait, you’re not in the middle of a youth movement? That’s it, I give up…
Crazy Prediction: Chipper Jones drops “n word” on national TV. Hey, someone’s got to pick up the slack for Jeff Kent retiring, and something tells me Chipper is a racist. Just a hunch, I guess. “Oh yeah? Well keep those hunches outta my neighborhood!” Thanks, Chip. Will do…
Fantasy Scoop: I, like many others, think Yunel Escobar is set to have a really good year. I picked him up midway through the year last year and when healthy, he gave me very respectable SS numbers. So if you miss out on the HanRam/Tulo/Reys/Rollins tier, target Escobar as you near round 10. He’ll probably still be on the board.
90′s wrestler: Ron Simmons
Not only is Simmons from the area (he played football at Florida State) making him geographically fitting, but he also only won one world title in the 90′s. Just like the Braves.
New York Mets – 2009 finish: 4th, 2010 prediction: 2nd
The Rub: The Mets really really stunk last year. Nobody did what they were supposed to do. Injuries were everywhere (Reyes, Santana, Beltran, Delgado) and their lack of depth got exposed. But with everyone but Delgado slated to be back to full strength (eventually) shouldn’t this team be good enough for second place? Sure, their rotation after Santana is filled with head cases and no names. And sure, K-Rod isn’t the closer he was before he moved coasts. But there are some talented dudes in this lineup, and I predict that the lowered expectations will eliminate some pressure and allow them to bounce back a bit.
Crazy Prediction: George Steinbrenner buys the Mets, trades all good players to the Yankees, loses in the playoffs to the Twins.
Fantasy Scoop: Last year, my rookie crush was on Daniel Murphy. I drafted him in both leagues, and even started him at the start of the year. Then he went into a bit of a slump and never recovered. Now, the guy everyone was talking about at the beginning of the season because he got to hit in the 2-hole in a supposedly potent lineup is invisible. But his final line of .266, 12 HR, 63 RBI isn’t so bad that he shouldn’t be drafted. Shouldn’t his sophomore year be even better?
90′s wrestler: Big Van Vader
People will always be attracted by the spectacle that is the Mets. Just like a behemoth like Vader will always pique people’s interest just a little bit. But in the end, you don’t really want either one (Vader nor the Mets) hoisting up the title. It would just seem weird.
Washington Nationals – 2009 finish: 5th, 2010 prediction: PAIN
The Rub: Stephen Strasburg! Ian Desmond! Drew Storen! These guys all might not be terrible in the next five years! Oh, this season? Well, we got Pudge! He’s a Hall of Fame-r! And Adam Dunn can hit the ball a country mile (when he doesn’t strike out). And…and…God, we’re just the Expos in a different uniform, aren’t we?
Crazy Prediction: Strasburg throws no-hitter. I mean, something’s gotta go right for the Nats. Right?
Fantasy Scoop: Want some really cheap saves? Then pick up Matt Capps with your last pick. Can’t really get a closer any cheaper than that.
90′s wrestler: Brooklyn Brawler
Here’s some money. Now go lose.