Over the coming weeks, we’ll be taking a look at each division in baseball and gazing into the future for each club.
Now, we are not experts like the people over at SI. We’re not in locker rooms, not being flown out to spring training facilities to see how prospects and injury recoveries are progressing. So why should you read our preview?
1) It will be funnier (at least I hope)
2) We will make wild, crazy predictions that legitimate sources won’t dare make
3) We’ll talk a little fantasy baseball
4) Pro wrestlers. That’s right, we’ll compare each team to its 90’s pro wrestling counterpart. Spoiler alert: get ready for a Doink the Clown reference, Pirates fans!
So far we’ve taken a look at the AL East and the NL East. Now we move on from the biggest of markets (NY, Philly, Boston) to some of the smallest (KC, Cle, Min). This division is always a lot of fun because the teams are fairly evenly matched from year to year, which always allows for excitement at the end of the year. Enjoy!
Minnesota Twins – 2009 finish: 1st, 2010 prediction: 3rd
The Rub: It took 163 games last year, but the Twins made the playoffs. Not happening this year. I know they have one of the best players in baseball (Joe Mauer) and some other very good ones (i.e. Justin Morneau) but I just don’t trust the no-name staff to get them there, especially without Joe Nathan boosting their confidence. Of course, the Twins never really look that good on paper, yet they always find a way into the postseason. So who knows, maybe I’m retarded.
Crazy Prediction: New stadium becomes haunted by Kirby Puckett’s ghost. I just imagine he is going to be pissed that they got rid of that outfield wall that made him so famous.
Fantasy Scoop: Morneau is really undervalued this season. In all the mocks I’ve done, he’s consistently been on the board in rounds 4 or 5. I guess people are worried about the injuries, or just forgot how good he is. Either way, go ahead and let Adrian Gonzalez and his cavernous ballpark and non-supportive lineup slide by and snatch Morneau up a round or two later.
90′s Wrestler: Steiner Bros.
In a world of super big personalities, the Steiner Bros. got by just by being good at wrestling. Just like how the Twins get by the big payrolls by just being good at baseball. It doesn’t hurt that the Bros. are from Minnesota, either.
Detroit Tigers – 2009 finish: 2nd, 2010 prediction: 1st
The Rub: Man, if this team could just get it together. On paper, they should be running away with this division. Yet every year they seem like they can’t get it together and get swooped upon by the Twins. Well, I say NO MORE! THIS is the year the pitching stays healthy. THIS is the year everyone that is supposed to hit, does. THIS is the year that they finally win this division. The only thing that scares me is Miguel Cabrera’s sobriety. I mean, look how good Mickey Mantle was when he was a booze hound. Would you want to shy away from that? I think not!
Crazy Prediction: Dontrell Willis wins 20 games. Seen as a payroll dump/throw-in in the Miguel Cabrara trade, Willis hasn’t done jack squat for the Tigers. This year (THIS is the year!) he gets his head on straight and gets back to dominating hitters and being the fun loving player we all loved three years ago.
Fantasy Scoop: Jose Valverde is a great closer. The only problem is, he wallowed on the terrible Astros recently. Now that he’s on a team that will win more games, his value should shoot up. But it’s not. He’s still sitting there way too late into drafts. Target him late for some easy saves.
90′s Wrestler: Lex Luger
Luger had it all: the physique, the mic skills, the love of upper management. Yet he could never really elevate to that top level of in ring performer. That’s the Tigers. Man do they look good, and man do people like them on paper, but they are just not championship material. Also, I’m pretty sure Miguel Cabrera could bodyslam Yokozuna (while drunk, of course).
Chicago White Sox – 2009 finish: 3rd, 2010 finish: 2nd
The Rub: Remember when the Sox signed Jake Peavy last year? Well, he’s finally healthy this year. He’ll top a staff that should be very solid, if not spectacular at times. Guillen has reworked the outfield to his liking, and their young prospects are no longer prospects, they’re young big leaguers. And while I expect them to rise up a little bit, I still feel like this team is just a bunch of pieces, and not really a team.
Crazy Prediction: Ozzie Guillen stays quiet all year. Every year we are treated to some sort of story that involves the coach of this club saying or doing something so very stupid. I say the story this year is that there is no story.
90′s Wrestler: Chris Jericho
When you were in WCW, no one wanted to push you/everyone only wanted to talk about the Cubs. So you went your own way/moved to WWF. Then you became champion. And then the powers that be made you one of the weakest champs ever, being led around by Stephanie McMahon/everyone still only cared about the Cubs. FYL, White Sox/Chris Jericho.
Kansas City Royals – 2009 finish: 4th, 2010 prediction: 5th
The Rub: The Royals are such an interesting team. They’ve been bad for so long, yet don’t seem to every fully invest in a rebuilding phase to right the ship. Sure, they’ve got Greinke who is an absolute juggernaut, but a single good pitcher does not a team make. Billy Butler is a nice player, and Alex Gordon isn’t as bad as everyone pretends, but this team isn’t going to compete. Not now, and not in the near future.
Crazy Prediction: Rick Ankiel goes back to pitching. Imagine you’re the Royals and you’re getting absolutely obliterated by another team. Why trot an actual hurler out there and waste his pitches? I would love to see Ankiel come in late in a blowout to toss a few from the mound. Man, that would be awesome.
Fantasy Scoop: Don’t ever forget that the Royals have a great closer too. Joakim Soria has some of the best ratios in the closing business. True, he won’t have as many opportunities as the big named closers, but he will make the most of the ones he does and not make you sweat each time he’s in the game.
90′s Wrestler: Duke ‘The Dumpster’ Droese
Ugh, what a terrible gimmick. “He’s really gonna CLEAN UP the opposition”. “Don’t forget to tip him around the holidays!”. Droese is one of the prime examples of bad 90′s gimmicks. Just like the Royals are a prime example of a terrible franchise with no hope in sight.
Cleveland Indians – 2009 finish: 5th, 2010 prediction: 4th
The Rub: The Indians aren’t as bad as they were last year…but they’re not that good either. I expect Sizemore to return more to his career norms, and Sin Soo Choo is no longer a secret, but this team has just lost too much talent. In the past two years they’ve traded away CC Sabathia, Cliff Lee, and Victor Martinez (not to mention the disintegration of Travis Hafner and Jhonny Peralta) and haven’t shown anything in return yet. Unlike the Royals, however, at least there is a sense of ‘don’t worry, there’s talent down in the system that will make us good a couple years’. But doesn’t it feel like the Indians have heard that before (and will hear that forever)? It’s like management went all out in the late 90′s/early 00′s to try and win the big dance, couldn’t do it, and just said ‘eff it. We’ll play young and cheap and sleep on a giant stack of money’.
Crazy Prediction: Travis Hafner found to be legally retarded. I’m just sayin’…
Fantasy Scoop: An under-appreciated signing this off-season was the Indians picking up Russell Branyan. Everyone is saying that he’ll never hit like he did last year (his highest HR total of his career) but even he comes close to it, that’s 20 HR that are just sitting there at the end of the draft. What are you waiting for, man! Snatch up those home runs!
90′s Wrestler: Tatanka
Probably too easy but, meh, I’m not too good for it…
Up next: NL Central!