Last Thursday the Lane Kiffin era (or “error,” as some might say) began at USC with a closer-than-comfortable win over Hawaii in what will serve as the Trojans’ bowl game for the season since they are not eligible to participate in one this year due to the NCAA sanctions.
Here is a brief recap of some aspects of the game from three different points of view: A USC Homer, A USC Hater, and a Rational Fan
Offense
USC Homer: This is a championship offense that can score at will. I blinked once the whole game and missed two touchdowns.
USC Hater: Any offense could put up 49 points against Hawaii. In fact, my team would have done that in the first half.
Rational Fan: Barkley’s passing was spot-on, though he won’t have as much time to throw when they face tougher defenses. And the running game might be really great, but we won’t know for sure until they play a decent run defense.
Defense
USC Homer: Okay, the defense wasn’t great, but you heard them. They didn’t practice tackling during the summer. They’ve got three more “warm-up games” to figure it out. And besides, who cares how many points the other team scores when our offense can always outscore them?
USC Hater: Haha, Lane Kiffn’s dad forgot to teach the players how to tackle. And if you get tired of running you can just chuck the ball downfield and score touchdowns against them.
Rational Fan: A team used to physical practices will take some time to adjust now that they don’t have them. USC’s offense can probably help them win the next three games, which are against teams with worse offenses than Hawaii’s. But if the pass defense doesn’t improve, the rest of the PAC-10 will eat them alive.
2-Point Conversions
USC Homer: Ha, this offense can go for two whenever they feel like it. The other team can’t stop them. And if they miss a couple they’ll just score more touchdowns.
USC Hater: These guys must not have a kicker.
Rational Fan: The first attempt was to try something new, and the second was to make up for the first. The third one doesn’t make much sense though.
Referee
USC Homer: That was hilarious how Hawaii thought they had gotten the touchdown and then it turned out that’s not what he meant. USC’s defense stops touchdowns even after they’ve already happened.
USC Hater: USC must be using the money it’s saving on buying houses for athlete’s parents to pay these refs.
Rational Fan: While some of the calls were close, nothing egregious occurred. However, it’s unfortunate that the old referee didn’t seem to know what he was doing when he announced calls.
Lane Kiffin’s Halftime Interview
USC Homer: That’s right, Kiffin. They haven’t figured out nothing! USC doesn’t get beat; they just beat themselves.
USC Hater: I don’t know whether I hate the guy more when he smiles or when he’s an ass.
Rational Fan: His comments about the team’s performance, while accurate, were far from anything Pete Carroll would have ever said. But not many people can coach like Carroll did and be successful. Let’s let Kiffin coach his way and see what happens.